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Monday, January 22, 2018

Sigh of relief

A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders today. I got the results back from my Histology theoretical exam. I got 80%, which was the 5th highest score out of 117 people who wrote it AND only 30% of the people who wrote passed. So I'm very proud of myself. I got 100% on the practical, but it was really easy and most people passed (we just had to correctly identify 3 out of 5 histological slides). The theoretical had me worried because I found a lot of the past tests to be difficult.

I have my anatomy exams, both practical and theoretical tomorrow, so I'm not out of the woods yet. Anatomy is much harder in my opinion but I feel now that I have a renewed energy and confidence that I know what I'm doing.

Anyway, back to anatomy! Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Of course this would happen.

Ugh. I've been away for just a few days and already am feeling wretched for leaving the kids. My mom called me just now to inform me that my two year old daughter has croup. She has been coughing badly for a few days and my mom called the doctor (we have an amazing insurance that includes free house calls) and she just called me to tell me that the doctor diagnosed croup.

I really wish I could be there, just to cuddle her. My husband told me that she has been in an awful grump today, likely because her coughing caused her to have a poor quality sleep, and she practically dove into her crib for nap.

I know this is what I signed up for and I knew that my kids would have to make sacrifices. I know that my daughter is getting excellent care from my mom and my husband. But I want to be there too.

Sigh. Back to studying. Hopefully she'll feel better soon, once she gets her meds. In the meantime I'll just have to deal with a bit of an ache in my heart.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Moving out

My midterms are starting in two weeks, so I made the decision to move out of my house for those two weeks so I can focus on studying.

I've found myself an Airbnb a few blocks from where I have class and plan to hole myself up here and study.

I was hoping to get some studying done over the holidays and I barely got any in. First my husband and I fell sick and then my parents did. Any time I would try and get some quiet time to do some studying, I wound up getting interrupted so I just gave up the attempt.

At first I planned on just taking a week but when I realized my exams were earlier than officially posted (gotta love that shitty admin - luckily was mentally prepared for this), I knew there was no way I'd be prepared well enough.

Its hard though. I already miss the kids so much and can't shake the guilt tugging at my heart. Even though I know they will be totally fine with my mom, my husband and our wonderful nanny. They're more than capable of taking care of them.

Still. I do feel a bit guilty about being able to get the proper sleep and time to relax and get ready for these exams. They will be the first "real" test of my progress and I'm nervous. Not panicky, but still, nervous.

To make the most of my time, I also booked myself a tutor from Anatomy to help me prepare.

I definitely get a wave of gratitude washing over me when I think about how lucky I am to have the support that I do. That my husband was totally ok with me moving out - and in fact was the one who encouraged me to do the full two weeks -  and paying to live away from home for such a long time. That my mom volunteered to come and help. That we can afford our incredibly flexible nanny.