Yesterday I ended up sending my youngest two to preschool after getting the OK from the preschool director.
But then my oldest son came home with a fever and his school has a policy of being 24 hour fever-free before letting them go back to school.
He is 11 so I decided to just take him to my classes. I didn't want to leave him at home for so long by himself, especially if he wasn't feeling well. I was able to skip the lecture in the morning that wasn't mandatory and took him to my Immunology class. He was really well behaved and just read a Harry Potter book, but I also caught him listening to the lecture. He told me he enjoyed it even though he didn't really understand it.
After the class we went to Starbucks where I studied and he watched some Netflix on my iPad. But when I took him for lunch I noticed that he was looking pale and he started to complain of having chills and a headache.
I decided that it wasn't worth dragging him to my biochem seminar. He just needed to lie down and rest. It was a mandatory class but I emailed the head of the department and explained my situation.
She responded and sympathized but said that because it was a mandatory class and because I'd missed one already at the beginning of the year (when our flight back to Poland from Canada was cancelled after Christmas - I had totally forgotten about that), that I'd have to make it up by doing a presentation at the next seminar on the topic (which is about nucleotide metabolism). I was a bit surprised because it always seems that there are no consequences in this program for breaking the rules (for example, if you get caught cheating, you would at worst fail the class, but they wouldn't expel you from school like they would in a Canadian university).
Oh well. It's not a big deal and in all honestly will be a good way for me to really learn the topic and this will only help me on the next exam. I didn't do too great on the last one and want to redeem myself on the next one. Its' funny, because it actually makes me respect the program and course more because this is how it should be.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Well it finally happened.
I think I've been very good at covering my bases as far as childcare is concerned and making sure that I have back ups for my backups.
But I may have finally come to a moment where I'm stuck. My husband is away on a business trip for a week and my nanny had asked for Tuesday off for a medical procedure many weeks ago. I said sure and figured that the worst thing that will happen for that one day is that I'll have to skip a lecture. But as I've been to pretty much all of them, it wouldn't kill me. I have a mandatory biochem seminar in the afternoon but I talked to the prof and he said I can skip out a bit early to make it to pick my kids up from school/preschool on time.
Except I didn't count on the youngest two getting sick. We've all been battling a cold/sore throat for a few days and I really don't think that they should go to school tomorrow and maybe on Tuesday. Honestly, they aren't badly sick but they both have a cough and runny noses and their preschool are a bit anal about sending kids who are sick to school.
Enter my dilemma. Do I take the whole day off and try and get a doctor's note to cover myself? Do I send them to school sick and beg for forgiveness later (or just talk to their teachers and explain my situation)? Or do I just charge up the iPad and take them with me to my classes?
Hopefully being off on Monday will be enough for them to be back to their regular selves and it won't be an issue but worst case I need to think of what to do. I'm leaning towards just sending them to preschool anyway and hope they understand.
But I may have finally come to a moment where I'm stuck. My husband is away on a business trip for a week and my nanny had asked for Tuesday off for a medical procedure many weeks ago. I said sure and figured that the worst thing that will happen for that one day is that I'll have to skip a lecture. But as I've been to pretty much all of them, it wouldn't kill me. I have a mandatory biochem seminar in the afternoon but I talked to the prof and he said I can skip out a bit early to make it to pick my kids up from school/preschool on time.
Except I didn't count on the youngest two getting sick. We've all been battling a cold/sore throat for a few days and I really don't think that they should go to school tomorrow and maybe on Tuesday. Honestly, they aren't badly sick but they both have a cough and runny noses and their preschool are a bit anal about sending kids who are sick to school.
Enter my dilemma. Do I take the whole day off and try and get a doctor's note to cover myself? Do I send them to school sick and beg for forgiveness later (or just talk to their teachers and explain my situation)? Or do I just charge up the iPad and take them with me to my classes?
Hopefully being off on Monday will be enough for them to be back to their regular selves and it won't be an issue but worst case I need to think of what to do. I'm leaning towards just sending them to preschool anyway and hope they understand.
Sunday, March 10, 2019
When panic rears its ugly head
Today I had a panic attack. Ok, not a real panic attack but a freak out. A freak out about what the hell I'm going to do after I graduate. Will I even be able to practice as a doctor?!
Yesterday's workshop on the NHS and how to get a post-grad job in the NHS after graduation was amazing. It made me excited to have a viable option for where I could go after I graduate - and would have a wonderful experience - but there are still some less than ideal aspects to it. Like the fact that the foundation years programme might be split up among various hospitals that may be a 100 miles apart, which would require moving every year. That would suck for my family. The fact that the training process is so much longer. Another big issue is Brexit. No one knows whats going to happen. And its so frustrating because at the moment, as an EU citizen, my path to fully licensed doctor would be pretty much guaranteed. Once the UK leave, my status drops and not only that, the UK has significantly increased the number of medical school spots so there will be even more competition.
But overall, as much as the UK system seems awesome, I still think I would prefer to go back to Canada, even if I couldn't get into the program that I want most.
So today, while procrastinating from biochem studying, I decided to read up a bit more on getting a Canadian medical residency as an IMG. I went on to a forum and stumbled upon a post by an IMG that was successful in matching back to Canada. I messaged him and he immediately messaged me back! He had some great tips and advice but his underlying message was: this is hard and getting harder. Make sure I have a good back up. That only about 50% of the Canadian IMGs in the Irish medicals school that applied got matched. That some of them were shocking because they were incredibly strong candidates. That students from med schools in commonwealth countries are preferred over students from non-commonwealth - which will make me have to fight that much harder.
The whole thing really bummed me out. Normally I am able to just not dwell on it. I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing and just shelving the issue because there isn't much good that will come from freaking out. But I took that box off the shelf today and I guess I just got scared that maybe I'm in complete denial about what my future looks like.
I just so badly want to go back to Canada. I don't even really care where, I just want to go back. I want to finish residency and start earning decent money so that my husband can take a break. I want to create some stability and a permanent "home" for my kids. I want to be closer to my sisters and their families. I want to be closer to my friends and live in a place that I feel like I belong to, a place where the values I hold most dear are respected and expressed by our country's leadership.
Luckily my husband was pretty good at calming me down. He said that there is no way I won't get a job anywhere since doctor shortages are going up everywhere and all the places that this is happening are going to have to address it sooner or later. That I still have 4 years to do what I need to do and that he is aware of the risks, aware that we won't be able to make any real plans for ages and that he is ok with that. It did make me feel better. I guess for me, the stakes are high. It's not just me who is on this journey, its my family too.
Anyway, going to get back to what I should actually be freaking out about - and thats the biochem exam.
Yesterday's workshop on the NHS and how to get a post-grad job in the NHS after graduation was amazing. It made me excited to have a viable option for where I could go after I graduate - and would have a wonderful experience - but there are still some less than ideal aspects to it. Like the fact that the foundation years programme might be split up among various hospitals that may be a 100 miles apart, which would require moving every year. That would suck for my family. The fact that the training process is so much longer. Another big issue is Brexit. No one knows whats going to happen. And its so frustrating because at the moment, as an EU citizen, my path to fully licensed doctor would be pretty much guaranteed. Once the UK leave, my status drops and not only that, the UK has significantly increased the number of medical school spots so there will be even more competition.
But overall, as much as the UK system seems awesome, I still think I would prefer to go back to Canada, even if I couldn't get into the program that I want most.
So today, while procrastinating from biochem studying, I decided to read up a bit more on getting a Canadian medical residency as an IMG. I went on to a forum and stumbled upon a post by an IMG that was successful in matching back to Canada. I messaged him and he immediately messaged me back! He had some great tips and advice but his underlying message was: this is hard and getting harder. Make sure I have a good back up. That only about 50% of the Canadian IMGs in the Irish medicals school that applied got matched. That some of them were shocking because they were incredibly strong candidates. That students from med schools in commonwealth countries are preferred over students from non-commonwealth - which will make me have to fight that much harder.
The whole thing really bummed me out. Normally I am able to just not dwell on it. I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing and just shelving the issue because there isn't much good that will come from freaking out. But I took that box off the shelf today and I guess I just got scared that maybe I'm in complete denial about what my future looks like.
I just so badly want to go back to Canada. I don't even really care where, I just want to go back. I want to finish residency and start earning decent money so that my husband can take a break. I want to create some stability and a permanent "home" for my kids. I want to be closer to my sisters and their families. I want to be closer to my friends and live in a place that I feel like I belong to, a place where the values I hold most dear are respected and expressed by our country's leadership.
Luckily my husband was pretty good at calming me down. He said that there is no way I won't get a job anywhere since doctor shortages are going up everywhere and all the places that this is happening are going to have to address it sooner or later. That I still have 4 years to do what I need to do and that he is aware of the risks, aware that we won't be able to make any real plans for ages and that he is ok with that. It did make me feel better. I guess for me, the stakes are high. It's not just me who is on this journey, its my family too.
Anyway, going to get back to what I should actually be freaking out about - and thats the biochem exam.
Friday, March 8, 2019
Fasting
Although I'm not really that religious (I think of myself as a lapsed-agnostic Catholic), I decided to give social media up for Lent.
I was just wasting too much time on FB and Instagram and I really just want to cut back. I've tried putting screen-time limits on my phone, but that didn't really work because I would just ignore the limit and I think I just ended up going on it more!
So a "cold-turkey" approach for a while is probably the best option for me. I know that the point of giving something up for Lent is to be less distracted from your relationship with God, but I think for me its about being less distracted from what is a truly a priority for me living my best life - and I think deep down, it amounts to the same thing.
I'm only 3 days in but its been easier than I thought. My biggest challenge will be reintroducing it later. I don't want to give it up forever completely, just manage it better.
***********************************
I have a big biochemistry test coming up next week. I'm not really nervous about it per se, because I understand it all - the only problem is the sheer amount of memorization required! I think amino acid structures will be the death of me. Mostly because I think memorizing them is pointless. I'd rather focus my energy on learning the different metabolic pathways or cholesterol synthesis (which I find personally interesting and important since I'm at risk for high cholesterol genetically).
The timing is kind of unfortunate since my mom is unexpectedly visiting Poland at the moment. Her best friend's mother died recently and she has come for the funeral. She is spending most of her time with her friend, but will be at home with us too - but I'll be busy studying and won't get to hang out with her as much as I'd like to. She is coming back next month with my dad though, so I'll see her more then.
**********************************
Tomorrow I'm attending a workshop on getting post-grad training in the NHS. I want to understand the process and requirements as best as I can because I need to be realistic about my chances in Canada. Its getting harder and harder every year. What if by the time I graduate, they will have completely taken away all the IMG spots?
Of course, Brexit has also put everything up in the air, but still the general process shouldn't change too much (as it is, currently the eligibility is based on EEA not necessarily EU citizenship). But I think going to the UK may still be easier for me and I want it to be a solid back-up. This workshop will take up all of Saturday pretty much, which is less than ideal given that I should be using that time to study for my exam or hanging out with my kids but whatever. I need to be flexible and do the best with what I can.
*********************************
I'm a little annoyed about something. Back in December I reached out to two former IMGs who did their residency at the place that is my #1 choice but never heard back. I contacted the girl (a good friend of a friend) and asked her to confirm that I used the right email addresses and she confirmed that she had and suggested I email them again because maybe the first email went to spam. So I did and yet again, have not heard back. From either of them.
I get that they must be busy etc but I also think a quick email even saying just that wouldn't be too much to expect, is it? I don't know. What I do know is that I will devote some time to helping IMG students make it back to Canada in any way I can, if I manage to.
I was just wasting too much time on FB and Instagram and I really just want to cut back. I've tried putting screen-time limits on my phone, but that didn't really work because I would just ignore the limit and I think I just ended up going on it more!
So a "cold-turkey" approach for a while is probably the best option for me. I know that the point of giving something up for Lent is to be less distracted from your relationship with God, but I think for me its about being less distracted from what is a truly a priority for me living my best life - and I think deep down, it amounts to the same thing.
I'm only 3 days in but its been easier than I thought. My biggest challenge will be reintroducing it later. I don't want to give it up forever completely, just manage it better.
***********************************
I have a big biochemistry test coming up next week. I'm not really nervous about it per se, because I understand it all - the only problem is the sheer amount of memorization required! I think amino acid structures will be the death of me. Mostly because I think memorizing them is pointless. I'd rather focus my energy on learning the different metabolic pathways or cholesterol synthesis (which I find personally interesting and important since I'm at risk for high cholesterol genetically).
The timing is kind of unfortunate since my mom is unexpectedly visiting Poland at the moment. Her best friend's mother died recently and she has come for the funeral. She is spending most of her time with her friend, but will be at home with us too - but I'll be busy studying and won't get to hang out with her as much as I'd like to. She is coming back next month with my dad though, so I'll see her more then.
**********************************
Tomorrow I'm attending a workshop on getting post-grad training in the NHS. I want to understand the process and requirements as best as I can because I need to be realistic about my chances in Canada. Its getting harder and harder every year. What if by the time I graduate, they will have completely taken away all the IMG spots?
Of course, Brexit has also put everything up in the air, but still the general process shouldn't change too much (as it is, currently the eligibility is based on EEA not necessarily EU citizenship). But I think going to the UK may still be easier for me and I want it to be a solid back-up. This workshop will take up all of Saturday pretty much, which is less than ideal given that I should be using that time to study for my exam or hanging out with my kids but whatever. I need to be flexible and do the best with what I can.
*********************************
I'm a little annoyed about something. Back in December I reached out to two former IMGs who did their residency at the place that is my #1 choice but never heard back. I contacted the girl (a good friend of a friend) and asked her to confirm that I used the right email addresses and she confirmed that she had and suggested I email them again because maybe the first email went to spam. So I did and yet again, have not heard back. From either of them.
I get that they must be busy etc but I also think a quick email even saying just that wouldn't be too much to expect, is it? I don't know. What I do know is that I will devote some time to helping IMG students make it back to Canada in any way I can, if I manage to.
Friday, March 1, 2019
Pleasantly surprised
This semester we had two new courses added to the curriculum. I have to admit I was a bit wary because they told us they are EU-mandated courses that now need to be taught in medical schools in Europe and last year we had one of those - called Occupational Health & Safety and it was the worst, most boring and useless class ever.
The classes that were added this semester are called Intro to Medical Communication and Research Methodology.
And both had surprised me with how good they are. In Research Methodology we are doing to learn how to use awesome equipment like PCR machines and we will be learning how to extract cells from mice! The lab that the classes are in are state-of-the-art, newly built (thanks EU funding!) and I'm really excited about it.
Medical Communications was also really good. The prof is a psychologist and I really like her teaching style. Plus the things she said the course will focus on are things that I really believe are so important with regards to how doctors communicate with their patients. I really hope people pay attention to it because I think we will learn a lot. Plus, she said that this is just an introductory course but most of our communications learning will come next year in our medical psychology class which by the sounds of it, I'll really enjoy.
*****************************
In other news I have a big biochem exam next week which I'm a bit nervous about. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with biochem. On one hand, its fascinating to learn about how our body works at this level, on the other, there are just so. many. enzymes and steps in all the various pathways, that I have no idea how I'll be able to remember them all. I think I'm going to have to make some Anki cards for this one.
Plus the exam follows a weekend during which I've committed the whole of Saturday to attending a workshop on the Foundations Years Programme in the UK. As much as I really, really want to go back to Canada for my post-grad training, I need to have a reliable backup, and think the UK would be best for me. At least, this seems to be the most popular and possible track for me (from what I understand, the acceptance rate to the FY programme from my university has been close to 100% of those that apply).
But I digress. Since I'll be away almost all Saturday, I'll have to be home for Sunday so I can spend some time with the kids. Which means the time I'll be able to study will be greatly reduced.
So I'm going to do my damndest to get as much done as I can before and just use Sunday and Monday to review.
Luckily I don't have a few regularly scheduled classes today so am going to use that time to study a bit (which I really should be doing now instead of updating this blog but whatevs).
The classes that were added this semester are called Intro to Medical Communication and Research Methodology.
And both had surprised me with how good they are. In Research Methodology we are doing to learn how to use awesome equipment like PCR machines and we will be learning how to extract cells from mice! The lab that the classes are in are state-of-the-art, newly built (thanks EU funding!) and I'm really excited about it.
Medical Communications was also really good. The prof is a psychologist and I really like her teaching style. Plus the things she said the course will focus on are things that I really believe are so important with regards to how doctors communicate with their patients. I really hope people pay attention to it because I think we will learn a lot. Plus, she said that this is just an introductory course but most of our communications learning will come next year in our medical psychology class which by the sounds of it, I'll really enjoy.
*****************************
In other news I have a big biochem exam next week which I'm a bit nervous about. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with biochem. On one hand, its fascinating to learn about how our body works at this level, on the other, there are just so. many. enzymes and steps in all the various pathways, that I have no idea how I'll be able to remember them all. I think I'm going to have to make some Anki cards for this one.
Plus the exam follows a weekend during which I've committed the whole of Saturday to attending a workshop on the Foundations Years Programme in the UK. As much as I really, really want to go back to Canada for my post-grad training, I need to have a reliable backup, and think the UK would be best for me. At least, this seems to be the most popular and possible track for me (from what I understand, the acceptance rate to the FY programme from my university has been close to 100% of those that apply).
But I digress. Since I'll be away almost all Saturday, I'll have to be home for Sunday so I can spend some time with the kids. Which means the time I'll be able to study will be greatly reduced.
So I'm going to do my damndest to get as much done as I can before and just use Sunday and Monday to review.
Luckily I don't have a few regularly scheduled classes today so am going to use that time to study a bit (which I really should be doing now instead of updating this blog but whatevs).
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