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Monday, September 19, 2011

I`ve been handed the moon

So...something amazing has happened and its taken some time to sink in.

My parents announced to me on Saturday that they`ve been thinking about it and said that if this is truly what I want, they will give me the equivalent of my net salary so that I can quit my job and focus on doing what I need to do to get in. They said its absolutely unconditional and that its a gift from them to pursue my dream without worrying about how my family will be affected financially.

When they first told me, I felt a bit like Anne, in Anne of Avonlea when Marilla tells her she can go to college to pursue her BA - she`s so surprised to hear that she can go, when asked how she felt she said ``I feel as though someone's handed me the moon... and I don't exactly know what to do with it.``

I was so overwhelmed that besides stuttering out a ``thank you`` all I could say was that I`d think about it. But think about it I did. To be honest, for a moment I was a bit scared. Because although this gift is an amazing opportunity, it also means that I have no excuses...I won`t be able to say ``Well, I want to but....(not enough money, don`t have time to volunteer, no time for MCAT prep etc, etc etc).`` It really confronted me with myself and forced me to really ask myself if this is what I want.

Once it sunk in, and after a few more chats with my parents, I realized that it really is. Not only do I feel incredibly excited but I feel like some tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I called them yesterday and told them that I will be taking them up for it. And that I`ll be doing it soon.

I do have to explain one thing that made me hesitate at first and indeed, is the main reason I really had to think about whether I wanted to take it. I feel a bit guilty because I feel like I`m an adult now and should be doing this on my own. Sure, I`ve been supporting myself for the last 5 years, but my parents did already pay for all my undergrad school and living expenses...they lent Jordan and I money to buy our condo, and told us not to worry about paying them back any time soon. And I feel like a bit of a hypocrite because I have been known to rag on people I know who are completely supported or at least, heavily subsidized by their parents.

But I realized that if this is what I want, then something like this would just be an excuse and reason not to do it. Especially when I ran it by some friends - everyone said, without hesitation, OMG DO IT! Plus my parents said, that I am after all their child and that they want to help me, that this is what they worked for - to give me (and my sisters) these kinds of opportunities. And really, when I take the perspective of a parent, I know I would want to do the same for my son.

So...here we have it. This journey just got a LOT more exciting! Next up...drafting my resignation letter!


2 comments:

  1. I love the blog Kasia! It'll be great to follow your dream with you...and live vicariously to see what it's like to go through all the hard work! I'm so proud of you for the decisions you've made, and we're behind you 100%. Now just remember to tell me if we shan't have babies for a while until you're done ;)

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  2. Thanks Sandy! It means so much to me - you guys are the best and honestly a huge part of why I'm trying this.

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