My Doctor Reading List

Monday, September 16, 2013

Snob

So...its been over 6 months since my last blog post. This is mostly related the fact that I gave birth to an absolutely adorable baby boy. He is perfect and we all love him to pieces.

But his birth has reinforced my angst over my not too distant return to work of some sort. I'm still at a total loss as to what I what I want to do - but as I research and discuss possibilities of things I could do with family and friends, I feel like all I do is add to my list of things that I don't want to do. My husband says its a good thing - that eliminating things that I don't want to do will make it easier to narrow down what I do want to do eventually.

My problem is that I think I'm a major snob when it comes to picking something that I should do. I absolutely love being with my new little son and being there to pick up my older son from school and spend time with him as well, that I feel like anything that I choose has to compensate for being away from them. The thought of slaving away in front of a computer creating amortization tables or forecasting cash flows for some random business makes me feel sick. I also don't love the idea of being a cog in some sort of large corporate machine. But I also don't want to be a stay-at-home mom forever. As much as I love my children, and as great of a mom I think I am, being a wife and mother is not enough for me. I need something in my life that is separate from my family. This may be selfish but I feel a void in my life at the moment. I see my husband happy with his work - yes, he is frustrated often, tired from the amount he has to get done, but I see the satisfaction he gets from it. I want, no, I need to have something like this for me too.

And my desire to pursue medicine has returned. Its the only thing that I can I see myself pursuing that I feel would be worth it to me to be away from my family. I know that I should move on, that I should try and develop another passion but that nagging feeling won't go away. I didn't give it my all, there is still PLENTY for me to do to try and get into med school. I'll admit that with my first attempt, I just hoped that what I had done in the past was enough - even knowing deep down that it wasn't. When I read on the pre-med forums about people taking 6 attempts, writing the MCAT 5 times and making all kinds of sacrifices before getting in...I know that to give up now would be accepting failure and defeat much too easily.

So I think that I'll try again. I'm off for maternity leave now (my husband thinks I should wait till September 2014 because he thinks getting a job before the summer might be tricky anyway). This gives me a year (again) to try and amp up my application (boosting ECs, studying for and re-writing the MCAT) and figure out a game plan. I'll have to get a job of some sort but I think it will be easier to settle for something I like that isn't a passion if I still have THIS to pursue. I mean, its going to be harder with a baby to care for but maybe it will make me more efficient with my time.

Well, we will see!

16 comments:

  1. It's not selfish to want a career of your own. I've struggled a bit with that too, given what the pursuit of med school means for my kids and husband, but in the end, we will all benefit.

    It's nice to see that you're going to continue your attempts. It's not over until you decide it's over; there's always another chance. I'll be applying next year too. It's not that far off! Apps open in only ten months.

    Also, congratulations on the new little one! Having two is wonderful, I absolutely love watching my kids play together and I hope your boys will develop that special bond brothers always seem to have.

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    1. Thanks Kay! Btw, I was wondering if I could occasionally email you to ask you for advice - you seem to be so focused and are really doing everything by the book. I'm thinking about taking a couple life science courses (pre-reqs) for U of T but want to nail them (get 90+). What are your study strategies?

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    2. Don't mind you emailing me at all! I know what works for me but I can't guarantee it will work for anyone else. I'll help any way I can, though!

      My study strategies are numerous and vary by class; I'll be making a post about how I study since I've had that question before. Life science courses (particularly first year ones) aren't *that* bad, they just sometimes have a lot of material. Knowing relationships and mechanisms is more important than memorizing stuff, because if you know how, you can reason things out a lot of the time.

      I think you can do anything you set your mind to, and clearly you've got determination!

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  2. When are you planning on writing the MCAT again? and if you don't mind me asking what kind of preparation materials did you use to prepare for your 1st MCAT attempt? I, just like yourself, am also pursuing medicine as a second career and I can definitely sympathize with your current situation. I greatly admire your dedication and determination in pursuing medicine so I would like to help you out in any way possible. I have a whole stack of MCAT preparation books and practice exams (passages + questions) in an electronic format (just like the real version) and I would love to share them with you if you are interested! I strongly believe that MCAT is all about doing as many practice questions as possible after the content review, so if you are interested please don't hesitate to let me know and we can set up a communal dropbox folder and I can upload all the files for you to download! Anyways, good luck in your pursuit of medicine!

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    1. Wow what a kind offer! I am planning on rewriting the MCAT again next year, hopefully in the spring or summer. Even the fall if need be (I'm ok with taking it slower this time!).I used the Princeton Review last time, but I totally agree with you that sitting down and doing the practice questions is key!

      Let me know about how to/where set up the dropbox - I really appreciate it!

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    2. Once I figure out how to go about using the dropbox I will send you an email with the instructions!

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    3. I am almost done uploading all the files!

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    4. Hey Kasiunut,

      Sorry for the long wait! Can you let me know what your email is so that I can send you the links to my MCAT dropbox?

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    5. Hi! Thanks so much - its mdorbust1@gmail.com

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  3. Hey, congratulations on your renewed pursuit of medicine! I myself left PwC as a CA and I'm trying to pursue this too. Have to prep for the MCAT myself! Good Luck!

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  4. Hey, congratulations on your renewed pursuit of medicine! I myself left PwC as a CA and I'm trying to pursue this too. Have to prep for the MCAT myself! Good Luck!

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    1. I was also at PwC! Good luck with the MCAT - I find its the hardest part of it all.

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  5. Interesting to see accountants jump ship.

    I did a useless degree for my undergrad hoping to get into medical school. I got interviewed on my first try and even got onto the waiting list for one school. Close, but no cigars -- literally, no cigars as in not having any job that I'm qualified for in the real world other than what I was doing back in high school.

    I'm envious of my friends in accounting who have started work lives already, for the simple fact that their four years of education have actually led them somewhere professionally (with fancy offices!). I am actually considering taking the prerequisites to start a designation. I have to admit that other than the paycheque/stability/progression, there isn't much in the field that excites me (read: nothing). I was browsing accounting jobs this morning and though the pay looks exciting to a broke-generic-degree-holder-working-minimum-wage, I don't really know what it's like to create amortization tables for a living forever.

    Obviously, I wouldn't be saying any of this if I had gotten in last year (or even if I get in next week...fingers crossed).

    Would you recommend accounting as a pathway for people in my position who don't have much to fall back on after their failed med dreams?

    Another option is to go to technical school to pick up a X-ray or lab tech qualification related to healthcare, hoping for med in the future...(but going from university to technical school just sounds like demotion even though it probably means a pay rise).

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  6. To be honest, no I wouldn't recommend accounting to someone in your position. I think that those who are truly successful in it are the ones that truly enjoyed it.

    I never did and even though I sometimes have days where I wonder if I should just buck up and go back to accounting, it fills me with so much dread that I don't pursue it more than that.

    That being said, I think you should consider something complimentary to your degree. I have a friend who started a biology degree as a pathway towards an MD but realized part way through her studies that it wasn't for her. She realized she didn't want to be a doctor but still loved science. She went on to become a sales rep for GSK and loves her job. She gets to talk to doctors all day, she makes a TON of money (I'm talking 6 figures and she's 27) and has a lot of room to grow within the organization.

    Anyway, I would recommend talking to a career counsellor or something to figure out a plan of action. What aspects of medicine do you like and is there a way to get that without becoming a doctor. Is it helping people? Is it the science? Is it constant interaction with people? Is it being a teacher part of the time? Etc, etc. Once you start asking yourself these questions and coming up with alternative career ideas, then start looking into them.

    But I do hope this is your year and that you get in to med school! All the best and I do with you the best of luck.

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  7. You know, the people I'm referring to who went into accounting or engineering didn't really want those to begin with. They had their sights set on medical school as well when we all started together, but after their first year GPAs came back they realized it wasn't going to happen.

    At that time, I was the lucky one because I still had medical school within my reach, so to speak. I guess if you're eliminated from the game in your first year, you've a lot of time to gain closure and reinvent yourself (in accounting or some other employable profession). I try telling myself that having interviews at medical schools is itself an accomplishment, but deep down I do feel that I haven't yet gotten anywhere.

    It's just difficult having gotten this far and being 'cut' at the very end...

    I don't know what I would tell my 18 year old self. Play it safe and settle or gun for what you want and risk not getting anything at all? This past year has been an exercise in philosophy for me.

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  8. I got in. Grateful that my 18 year old self chose to dive headlong into pursuing a dream than settle for a safety position on the shore.

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