Just in case

I keep going back and forth on whether or not to keep pursuing this. Don't get me wrong, I really WANT to but its just so difficult for me because its purely selfish. I don't need to do this - its just something that I want.

But just in case, when I think about things to do in my life, a part of me always thinks "how will this look on a med school application?". And if I think it looks good, I'm much more likely to pursue it.

For example, today I ran my first ever half-marathon and did it in a pretty good time (2:14). I'm incredibly proud of myself - it is something that I've wanted to do forever but never managed to stick to the training the way I needed to. I always thought that it was just impossible to do having a young child at home, work etc. But now I have 2 children and one is just a baby - was only 3 months old when I started my training - and I still managed to do it. The fact that it would look good on a med school application, even if it weren't highly weighted, really is one of the things that kept me motivated to train. Same thing with running for (and being elected!) the Chair of my son's school's parent/teacher committee. Its a lot of responsibility but it will be a great example of "leadership". I thought about joining last year but never got around to it. This year I was determined to at least get elected to the executive, though I didn't expect to get elected to lead the whole thing! And even if I never make it to med school it is something that I'm very excited to be apart of.

But I do need to make a few choices soon, namely regarding taking some life science pre-reqs that would allow me to apply to U of T. This would be the best place for me to attend school - its where I live, and it would cause the least disruption in my family's life. However, I do need to stop looking too far ahead and focus on the present. I feel like this process really needs to be taken one step at a time. So that is what I am doing now.