Sick

So my "not feeling too well" in the previous post turned out to be a fairly severe case of some sort of GI bug. I ended up in the ER with pretty bad dehydration and they had me connected to an IV for 7 hours. Fun times.

But honestly it was a rough 4 days - and I did zero studying. I don't even feel guilty about it because I was totally incapacitated. At one point I was lying in bed and watching only what was on whatever channel we had left it on the day before because I couldn't muster the energy to reach for the remote and change the channel (that had to be conserved for my trips to the bathroom to vomit). I ended up watching Jeopardy, a couple of episodes of "Last Man Standing" (not that bad actually) and an episode of Anderson, who I guess is trying to be a male Oprah replacement and I'm disappointed by what I saw (in between bathroom trips).  But I digress. I decided I'm just going to post-pone my final by a few days (and since I have till the end of March to write it, I know it won't be a big deal).

I'm so thankful Jordan was able to take care of Tubes the whole time.  On the third day we made the trip out to Newmarket to my parents house so I could sleep (or rather, run to the toilet) a bit more because of the extra distractions for Tubes so he wouldn't insist on seeing me as much.

Honestly, being sick when you have kids is a whole different ball game then before kids. They don't understand (and frankly, they don't care) why you can't get up, they just want you to be up. You feel guilty that all you'd rather do is just stay in bed and not move. And you can't even indulge in a post-sickness lie-in in bed when you're feeling way better (though not quite 100%) and where you regain that last bit of strength. You are up and taking care of them. It sucks. I'm so much more careful now about not getting sick than I once was - I actually get the flu shot every year now just in case.

The only silver lining is that I ended up losing almost 8lbs because of this (and its not even water weight) and I'm on track to lose a couple more since I only just started eating solids yesterday evening (lol, I sound like I'm going through my baby milestones!) and even those I can't have too many of because I don't want to upset my stomach.

Anyway...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry (belated) Christmas!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

I had a good one too (and the trip to the Dominican Republic was a big success!). Unfortunately I've come down with something and am feeling terrible today. Its days like this that I wish I were a teenager again living at home with my mom making me feel better....

Ok am going back to bed. More updates soon!

Off for a week!

On Thursday am flying south to the Dominican Republic for a week of fun in the sun with my family. Am very excited! Haven't been to the beach in years.

Anyway, can't make this long because I need to pack - and after a convincing argument from a friend, have decided that I won't be studying during my week there so need to get caught up on my readings today and tomorrow.

Then once I come back it will be revision time - I write my final on January 4th.

Productive day

I'm feeling pretty good right now because today has  (surprisingly) been a very productive day. The reason its been so surprising is because I have Tubes home with me today.

To digress a bit, as part of my "re-strategizing" I also decided that come January, Tubes will be going back into daycare 100%. Jordan had initially convinced me to take him down to 3 days per week to save some money and also because a part of the reason I'm doing this IS to spend a bit more time with him (because I know if I get into med school, my free time with him will definitely be limited). So I tried it out, but to be honest it wasn't working so well. I love spending time with him, but my visions of me reading my text book with him quietly watching a TV show or playing in his room (without interrupting me more than once an hour) sadly never materialized. And looking back I don't know what I was thinking. I was rarely ever able to get any work when if I had to "work from home" because my dear child would constantly need something ("mummy, I need to peeeeeee, mummy I want to watch the Wiggles, mummy I'm huuuuunnnngrrryy, mummy my toy is broken fiiixxx ittttt!").

Don't get me wrong, a part of me has loved hanging out with him so much. And, its terrible but I used the Tuesdays and Thursdays that he wasn't in daycare as rewards "Tubes, if you're a good boy and go to bed now, you can hang out with me ALL DAY tomorrow!" (Works like a charm).

I do feel a bit guilty about it - and selfish too because I'm sending my child off to daycare so that I can pursue something just because I want to. But I figured I'll be a) way less stressed because I will have more days to study and volunteer and b) I'll be able to drop him off later/pick him up earlier because I'll just have more time in general, instead of trying to pack everything I need to get done into the days I have to myself.

But to get back to the point of this post...I was able to complete two of my home labs for my Biology course today and only have one left to do! The bonus with that is that I've already started it and its mostly done so a bigger woohoo.

Days like this make me think it IS possible....

Deserving it

Most people who apply to medical school have been working towards it pretty much their whole lives. Many have decided to do it in high school and apply to science undergrad degrees. They usually spend their undergrad studying like mad, spend all their spare time volunteering and their summers in research labs.

In short, they work damn hard for a long time to try and get the approximately 1 in 10 spots available for the number of people who apply. Unfortunately many won't get in - some will have GPAs that aren't good enough (for medicine - though probably good enough for anything else). Some many not do that well on the MCAT. Some may just bomb the interviews. Most try again - going back to school or getting graduate degrees.

So...what must they think of people like me? While yes, wanting to be a doctor did cross my mind in high school and even in university, I didn't spend the same number of hours in the library, all my spare time volunteering. I had a lot of fun! My summer jobs consisted of being a camp counselor and travelling around Europe (as well as some crap jobs).

I wonder sometimes, do I deserve it? If I get in, will I be taking the spot of someone who worked much harder than me whose dream it has been for much longer than its been mine? And the answer is, if I get in, I will be taking the spot of someone just as good as me and probably someone who worked much harder to get that spot.

The consultant I met with said that they always have way more deserving candidates than spots. They will often resort to methods such assessing whether the sexes are properly represented, if there enough minorities and even if there are enough people of certain ages. So someone may not get the spot simply because they filled their quota of men, Asian students or over 25 year olds. Its incredibly unfair, but it has to be done. The government decides how many medical school spots are available and there is nothing else that they can do.

Sometimes this frustrates me so much. I actually feel a bit guilty when I think about it, though at the end of the day, I know that if I get in I will deserve it. That is what I want to prove with this year.

Taking the day off

Today I am taking the day off from studying...its Tubes' birthday party tomorrow and I want to get ready for it. I've taken on a big challenge of making him a pirate ship birthday cake in addition to cleaning the whole house.

I feel a big weight off my shoulders since dropping out of the MCAT course and post-poning it till January.

So I'm going to enjoy myself and channel Martha Stewart for the day.