Beyond Relieved

I passed the anatomy finals.

I'm so incredibly and utterly relieved. And happy.

Out of my class of 120 people, 41 were permitted to take the final exam and 3 were exempted (for having the 3 highest scores prior to the second term exam). Of those, 29 passed. I am one of them.

This was the hardest exam I've ever taken. The pins section, in particular was brutal and I honestly thought it would be the death of me. I left the exam not being sure if I passed it or not. I couldn't sleep over obsessing over some mistakes I knew I made and just hoped and even prayed that I did enough.

Did I do amazing? No. I got 68% on the pins and 84% on the theory for an overall average of 76% (they combine the scores). After the initial relief of finding out I passed, knowing that I will NOT have to study this summer, I started to be a *bit* disappointed in the actual score. I wished I had just stayed up and studied a bit later, taken more time to look at some of the specimens. Wondered if those episodes of Riverdale that I watched to give my mind a break are the reason I didn't get more pins correct.

But I needed to stop myself. I don't know if this is just something women do, but we often hone-in on our faults and over-look our successes. And when I think about it, I think I just did something incredible, really.

I passed the hardest subject of the year, something that about 25% of the class will have to repeat, the course that is used to cut people of the program. And I did it on the first attempt. I did it while balancing THREE children. Three children adjusting to me being away. A husband adjusting to me being away and with new responsibilities. Commitments that I still needed to keep, responsibilities that did not go away because I suddenly had so much more on my plate.

So I'm going to stop right here and just say how proud I am of myself that I did this, that the first major challenge has been met and overcome. I can do this.