How to prevent abortion

I debated bringing the topic of abortion up on this blog again. Last time I did, I was viciously attacked by an anonymous person (side note: if you truly stand for something, own it and use your real name - don't hide behind an anonymous profile) simply because I stated I was pro-choice and attended a rally in Warsaw to prevent further restricting the already incredibly strict abortion laws in Poland. But I digress, this isn't the point of this post.

With the recent news about several US states imposing strict abortion laws (banning abortion in all cases, even rape and incest) and setting the stage to overthrow Roe Vs Wade, there has been a lot of talk about abortion in general in social media where everyone is sharing their opinion. So I thought I'd share mine too.

This is a difficult topic. I'm not going to be flippant about it and say that a fetus is "just a bunch of cells" or whatever. I respect and accept that people believe that a life begins at conception. It is not a crazy belief. When I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, it was devastating to me. It wasn't a bunch of cells, not to me.

BUT I also can't be flippant about pregnancy and postpartum and being a parent. Pregnancy is inherently dangerous and kills women every single day, even in countries like the US. But aside from death, pregnancy takes a huge toll on a woman's body. From permanent disfigurement, loss of future fertility, depression, to prolapsed uteruses and incontinence, the list of risks a pregnant woman faces is long and depressing. I had complication free pregnancies and I still ended up with bad incontinence. I still had my body distorted. I still had postpartum depression. I stalled in my career, even when I went back. Being a parent is hard, exhausting and expensive. And I had all the support and love in the world. So it was all worth it to ME. However, I can't imagine going through something like that for an unwanted pregnancy. Or worse an unwanted pregnancy that was forced on me by rape.

So instead of yelling at each other and hurling insults, especially those to claim to be pro-life, what can we actually do to prevent the abortions in the first place? But first let's look at why banning abortion won't actually lead to less abortions or less death at all.

What happens when you ban abortions?

1. More people die overall - just like when Romania banned abortions, this led to an increase in both maternal and infant mortality.

2. Interestingly, the number of abortions increases. In fact, in a 2016 analysis published by Lancet finds that the average abortion rate in countries where the procedure is prohibited is 37 per 1,000 women compared to 34 per 1,000 in countries where it is legal. A real world example is Canada - where there are no restrictions on abortion - which has lower rates of abortion than the US or many countries where they are restricted or illegal.

3. The number of unsafe abortions increases - as does the number of maternal death and serious health consequences for the women as this study shows.

4. Women find ways around it - rich women will just go somewhere where they can access it and poor women resort to back-alley abortion clinics or take drugs that will end their pregnancies. For example, in El Salvador, where abortion is illegal, 1 in 3 pregnancies still ends in abortion.

5. Maternal death increases - when you criminalize abortions and make doctors criminally liable, they are less likely in intervene in obstetric emergencies. For example, in Argentina many doctors will allow ectopic pregnancies to continue until the fallopian tube explodes because they fear that the fertilized egg will considered "living" prior to that - making it fatal for the mother as well. Some doctors won't treat women with chemotherapy because of the high risk to the fetus. And lastly, there is a huge up-tick of maternal suicide, especially in teens who are distraught by their situation. In fact, suicide is the 3rd leading cause of maternal death in several countries where abortion is illegal.

6. You open the door to investigate any pregnant woman who has a pregnancy loss. Imagine you are a pregnant woman who starts to bleed in your pregnancy - this is common but as any woman who has gone through this can attest to, incredibly scary. I've been there and I know. Now imagine you go to the hospital for help and instead are not only not helped but are reported to the police because suddenly you are suspected of attempting to end your pregnancy. Because doctors can't tell the difference between a natural miscarriage or abortion by misoprostol, an ulcer drug that is about 85% effective in inducing an abortion on its own. Which can be scary if you have a young or over eager doctor who wants to impress the administration and will report a miscarriage as an abortion. Or have doctors refuse to even admit you because they are scared of being involved and being arrested for conspiracy to commit murder.

7. The underprivileged suffer the most. No doubt that live-births will result from the abortion ban. But this will just perpetuate the cycle of child abandonment, neglect and abuse that are rampant in many parts of the world. Women and children will continue to be stuck in a cycle of poverty and violence. Is this really how we want to bring children into this world?

So. What can we actually do to prevent abortions? I'm especially looking at the people who are firmly anti-abortion and most vocal about it. Because if this topic really means that much to you, I really hope you are doing more than calling those who support a woman's right to choose "murders" on social media. Because let me tell you, shaming women will not reduce the number of abortions. So ask yourself what you truly want. Is it to prevent abortions from happening or is it just to feel morally superior in a hypothetical situation?

What you can do to prevent abortion

1. Actively support policies, organizations and political parties that are geared to women's health. A good place to start would be to support universal health care (I'm looking at you, USA). This may mean *gasp* ditching the political party you've always supported in favour of a party that wants to provide those things. Studies show that countries like Canada that universal health care have lower rates of abortion than the USA.

2. Actively support sexual education and free contraception, especially the birth control pill, which is credited with a huge drop in teenage pregnancy.

3. Actively support improved financial support and parental leave for parents. Don't just focus on mothers either. Give incentives to fathers to take time out of their careers to care for children. Plus if you look at the stats of countries that have strong parental leave, they also have much lower rates of abortion than countries that don't.

3. Help unburden the overburdened foster care system - register to be foster parents. Because these kids are the products of unwanted pregnancies.

4. Actively support policies that make adoption easier - for LGBTQ community, single dads and basically anyone who isn't in a "traditional" family situation adopt. Also, consider adopting yourself.

5. Adopt a single mother - commit to helping a single mother with all the costs involved in delivering and raising a child for 18 years. Giving a bit of money in a church collection every once in a while doesn't count (nor does it do much). Put your money where you mouth is and take on all the costs.

6. Can't "afford" to give your money? Then give your time and volunteer with families that have children with special needs. Step into the shoes of a mother with a child with a severe illness and give her a break. Make it regular and frequent. Show women out there that they will get help and won't left abandoned with a sick baby. There are many organizations that facilitate this.

7. Prove you are really pro-LIFE and not just pro-birth. Because those are two different things. Being pro-life means you believe in improving the lives of everyone already alive as well. So consider how things like education and the state of the environment are affecting life. Here in Poland, our ultra "pro-life" government continues to push the use of coal as our main energy and has led to Poland having the most polluted cities in Europe. A recent report came out to show that almost 50,000 people die prematurely in Poland every YEAR due to air pollution. And that number doesn't include the number of miscarriages due to birth defects in fetuses due to the pollution and toxic effects of inhaling coal dust.

8. Educate yourself on what abortion really is. I think there is a lot of misconception about abortion. Abortion means terminating a pregnancy - this doesn't always involve terminating the fetus. If the fetus would be able to survive outside of the mother, in the vast majority of cases the doctors will deliver the fetus alive and depending on the circumstances, fight to keep it alive or allow a natural death.

Please, before you preach about abortion and murder and how you think these abortion bans are wonderful, consider your agenda. Is your agenda to prevent abortions or is it to feel morally better than those who believe that a woman should have the basic right to control her own body? So, unless you are prepared to do the above list of things that ACTUALLY work to prevent abortion then please stop with the insults and shaming of women. You are not helping your cause and you are actively contributing to more death and misery. Please think about this.