Easier

Recently I realized how much easier being at mother at med school has gotten. And its mostly because all my kids are getting older. They all sleep well through the night now - with the odd wake up by my three year old demanding a drink. Plus I think they are now just so used to it, its like they've forgotten what it was like when I was around all the time and its been so good for my mental health.

Yesterday I was able to attend a non-mandatory evening event organized by some students in my year - on a whim - for the first time ever because I know my kids will be fine.

I can't remember if I ever discussed this here, but I definitely had some mental health struggles last year over the guilt I felt about pursuing med school with three kids. The adjustment was a little rough, particularly for my oldest son (which surprised me) and combined with some other stresses had me feeling really low for a while.

Luckily I had the presence of mind to realize something was wrong and I sought counselling and it was the best decision ever. My therapist helped me work through my feeling and I felt such a burden be lifted from me.

Which brings me to another thought. I still read so much about the relentless medical culture of pushing doctors and nurses and other health care professionals to the brink. I recently read "This Is Going to Hurt" by Adam Kay about his time as an OB in the NHS and one of the things that really stood out is the lack of mental health support for them.

Maybe its because I've read so much about this and maybe because I have already experience some mental health issues myself, I feel like I'm going to be going into it with open eyes and hopefully will not keep my thoughts and feelings bottled up. I want to actively fight the stigma and hopefully will be able to be there for colleagues to lean on as well.

I'd love to write more on the topic but I gotta study so I'm going to end this here.